Let me start this post by apologizing to any avid readers I may have for going months without posting. I'm terrible at this regular posting business- I get busy and then forget to share my life with the blogging world... or at least the friends and family who may read my rantings.
I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert for some time now. I started it in August when my best friend, Bethany, recommended it to me. Being a college student however, I don't have as much time as I would like to read for pleasure. Or at least, that's what I told myself last semester when I got to chapter 8 and then stopped reading all together. This semester I'm taking a literacy class that is supposed to be teaching me how to teach literacy in a content area class- more specifically my content area classroom of music. I'm going to be honest- I hate the class. The professor is less than helpful, and extremely rude. I can't ever get a word in edgewise when asking a question, because she's so quick to cut me off. But that's neither here, nor there; because I have actually been inspired to read again. It's pretty much the only thing I've gotten out of this class so far. I've started making the time to finish the book. It's been an inspiration as well. Thus, I went to bed and started reading... then with my own thoughts running away decided to blog instead.
I've had an extremely interesting turn of events lately. Trying to decide how I feel about religion and love. Coincidentally, these are common threads between my life and the book I'm reading. Love has been the forefront of my mind. I don't usually try to share my inner most thoughts with the internet community, but I feel that this is an exception. As a 21 year old female- I have been kissed only twice. That seems so unusual to me. I have never understood why the constant in my life is that I'm a "great friend", but never anything anymore. Recent events have had me thinking about this even more. Maybe some people are just meant to have one great love and that's it, while others date many many people before finding their "one" and sometimes that "one" isn't even actually their "one." I would like to think that maybe I'm in the group of people who only have one great love- and mine just hasn't entered my life yet. It's a hard concept to hold onto though. Being turned down and denied a chance at love over and over again takes a toll on your emotional well being and self confidence. I try to stay positive- but there's only so much positive I can radiate after being informed yet again that I'm a great friend. I suppose it's just something to ponder for a while. Maybe I'll give up on letting my feelings run my life for a while... maybe I can shut down my attractions to people for just a little while and be happy being just me. It's a hard thing to do when everyone around you is not longer just them, but maybe I can be strong enough to do it.
I mentioned religion as a recent contemplation of mine as well... we'll leave that can of worms for another post though. It would bore you right now... I don't really know what I think about the subject yet.
In other news, I've been working on writing some songs... They're still major works in progress; some are just lyrics- others are just music. I don't have anything concrete yet. Once I have something workable, I'll post it here in case you decide you want to listen. For now just trust me that they're nothing special yet.... ;)
Recently, I'm obsessed with the Frank Violin Sonata. And by recently, I mean as of a few hours ago. It's beautiful and definitely not something I would mind playing on my recital... it's a little long though- so maybe just the 4th movement. If you haven't heard it- you should look it up and take a listen. :)
For now, I leave you with this thought that will haunt me for a few more days before I figure out exactly what it means:
"So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience."- Eat, Pray, Love (65)
<3/ Sam
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